The Leap of Faith...
We've all had that opportunity thrown at us, on a whim, to do something unforeseen and incredible like moving out with a best friend, being offered an internship in another state or something so exciting it simply puts you out of your comfort zone. This is one of those industries where if you don't like being in a constant state of flux, complete, uncomfortable flux it’s probably not for you.
Some people forfeit sleep, some put relationships on the back burner, and most of us never know where our next job or project will come from. Recently I got a full time job (normal) job, it proved to me that I could outgrow my student sleeping patterns and work full time ( something most of us fear we can’t shake post-graduation).
For me, it took a while but, an opportunity presented itself that sounded too good to be true.
- Paid
- Allied with my passions
- Full time.
And no matter how good it looked as a smorgeous board of opportunity I had to weigh up what it meant to my lifestyle. I would live out of a suitcase for the inevitable future (this sounds amazing and what i asked the universe for but the reality is you can't fit your whole comfortable life into a suitcase), I’d have to move away from my partner who is my greatest support. It also meant I’d quit a job that represented financial stability and was ongoing. It was tough because as artists we wait for these kinds of big breaks, and yet when they arrive sometimes we are too immersed in becoming normal adults, the ones our friends in different industries have become to see the great opportunity we have periled with to achieve! I had begun to convince myself I’d be happy to give it all up. The dreams, the constant inconsistency, the hope of working my whole life for just one big break. But then I am reminded that if I tried to quit being ‘creative’ cold turkey I’d last less than a week without the itch to follow some crazy ass dream again.
I'm going to take this opportunity and please don't think it came easily. Facebook has this wonderful way of convincing us that our 'friends' lives are better than ours but I need to remind you photos of sunshine and happy days aren't the full truth. This decision has been in the works for over a week, a week of limbo, anxiety, fear and now, slowly... excitement. It’s an opportunity but it isn't like one of those I-hope-this-photo-of-me-at-work-playing-with-puppies-makes-you-jealous-of-my-life kind of opportunity. Those image posts we're all guilty of only show 0.5% of the full story. You see an image of your friend at work when their bosses-uncle's-brother popped in with a poodle, when in reality the photo was taken to justify having to baby sit an untrained fluff ball that pooped under her desk while she was out getting coffees for her boss and his extended family while they had a meeting in the office boardroom. That photo you saw was the only way to justify how awesome your friend's day was to all of her gullible Facebook friends. To get back on track this awesome opportunity is the kinds of..." Oh shit, I'll be working 15 hour days at 150% of my capacity. Eekkk"... So please note I'm being honest, and I do actually like poodles.
I will call my prospective employer back this afternoon to accept. For now I'm going to enjoy my uncomfortable creative state of flux, the creatives vice and pull the covers of my bed up over my head to snuggle my feelings for just a little bit longer. Xoxo